you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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