Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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