I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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