Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
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you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
tell me about the fingering
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