why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
