I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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