Don't you send me to vm
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
