eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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