am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
