well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
