Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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