he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
