he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
