when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it glows. i had to have it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
