why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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