ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Randomize
