Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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