xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
