Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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