do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
