Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
