so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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