We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
