There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
