dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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