in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I currently don't understand fingers.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
