I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
