are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
