Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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