Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
