So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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