Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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