Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I skipped work to stalk him.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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