I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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