He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
