Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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