HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I forgot wine drunk hurts
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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