is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
