I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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