Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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