You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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