It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
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I need you to use more vowels.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
