bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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