if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
