I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
