Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
zippers are such a cool invention
he was CRYING into my vagina
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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