Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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