It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I understand Curling. That high.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
