thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
