"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
