Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
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Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind