O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.