I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
