Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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