we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
