I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.