too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
