if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch