It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.