the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
