oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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