spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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