well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
