How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
