I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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