dude i'm inner monologue high
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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