Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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