i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
