Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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