i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize