so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
